Let me try my hand at cricket prognostication.
I think it’s gonna be a low scoring series with the Duke dominating the Gray-Nicolls. There will not be a single score of over 400 but two innings scores of less than 150. (Curiously, since they will win the series, both from England.) The only batsman to score over 400 runs in the series will be Steve Smith. Jimmy Anderson will break down before the beginning of the third test, enabling Jofra Archer to begin a stellar test career.
There will be no draws unless significant time (over a full day) is lost to rain. The overall standard of fielding seen in the series will be deemed the best ever: some spectacular catches and miraculous run-outs. The bowling is deemed pretty good but the batting is disappointing on all fronts. The authorities are blamed along with the custodians of the pitches for making it such a low scoring series. Taunton, where it’s like batting on a road, comes into the frame as a potential test wicket.
The result will be 4-1 to England. Chris Woakes will continue his good form with bat and ball, and will end up being the leading wicket taker. The bowling surprise will be James Pattinson – the only quick to play for Australia in all five tests. Nathan Lyon will not prosper as he has done in other series over the past five years. Cummins and Hazlewood will bowl tightly and without much luck. Mitchell Starc will have just one good test, in which he takes nine wickets.
England’s top order continues to struggle with only two opening stands of 120+ in the series. Joe Root is the leading run scorer in England’s top five, with Stokes, Buttler, Woakes and Moeen contributing a large proportion of England’s totals.
Tim Paine will prove to be a good leader and a very nice person but will have a disappointing series with both bat and gloves. People will ask, with great respect, what might have been had Steve Smith remained captain and Matthew Wade keeper. We will all come to see at the end of the series that Steve Smith has developed quite his own batting style including some strokes previously uncategorised. He proves to be difficult to get out and is not out in three of the eight innings completed by Australia.
Within six months no one can remember who opened the batting for England twice in the series.
A CD of the barmy Army’s best songs is released in September and goes to the top 10 in the charts. The umpiring is of a consistently high standard but, more than once, a test match turns on the use or abuse made of the review system.
David Warner is a disappointment for those who expect so much of him in terms of long innings at high speeds of scoring. Usman Khawaja loses form and/or becomes injured again and is replaced at three by Travis Head, who firms up as a long-term middle order batting asset. England win because Woakes, Broad, Anderson, Archer and Moeen all have better strike rates than all of the Australians except for Pattinson. Joe Root and Ben Stokes are honoured in the Queen’s Birthday list.
Somerset fail by four points to win the first division county championship. (Boo.) Marcus Trescothick retires. Despite his hamstring and back problems, Jimmy Anderson signs up for another couple of years. In five years’ time he is knighted.
