Paddling his own canoe: for Dane

The Alliance saw more movement – for the word had passed around

That the colt from in our midst had paddled off

To join the Health Department – with his pay a thousand pound –

Enough to satisfy most any Toff

 

He got up every morning in the cruel winter frost

All rigged out in his gold and in his green

And only he knew secretly the trouble and the cost:

His sorest point remained below unseen

 

He paddled hard with Russians and he met them stroke for stroke

In countries to the east and to the west

And Canada was where he went with hardened motley blokes

To put their training to the final test

 

The tried and noted paddlers from their clubs both near and far

Had gathered at the jetty overnight,

For the boatmen love the challenge where the coldest waters are

The competition starts with great delight.

 

Our muscled Dane was off the grog for many endless days

And ate up porridge oats and lots of gruel

To see him pine for beer and wine was tough enough I’d say

But think of his sore backside: seems so cruel

 

His paddle-ing was paralleled by toils with us at work

On mental health and PHNs and such

He’d come at nine and work til five and never ever shirk

His humour pleased us all so very much.

 

With Helen first he toiled away and was by duty bound

They jointly shaped up policies and stuff

When Helen left he seemed bereft and obviously found

The work on Fact Sheets was a little tough.

 

With Anne-Marie he formed a bond – his wit and wisdom grew

Their vigour never ever seemed to flag

But once again his partner went, and when we made a brew

We fell back from tea-leaves to use tea-bag

 

Then Andrew with his tested figures came to lend a hand,

No stats man ever made of him an ass;

For never puzzle threw him while his formulae did stand

He came with numbers strong from Sassafras

 

Fiona then did join him and she leapt into the fray

She valued him as much as any chum

She’ll miss him in the pod they share when he has gone away –

We hope he finds a new de facto mum

 

He’s hard and tough and wiry – just the sort that won’t say die –

Recall the many funnies that he’s said;

He bears the badge of fitness in his enigmatic eye,

His witty words can often knock one dead.

 

And down by Burley Griffin, where the pine-clad ridges raise

Their torn and rugged battlements on high,

Where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze

At midnight in the cold and frosty sky,

 

Just near the Murrumbidgee where the reed beds sweep and sway

In breezes and the stunted trees are clipped,

The man who paddles his canoe’s a household word today,

This doggerel tells the story of his trip

 

As he strokes into the sunset with his yet untested crew

We’ll toast him once and toast him once again.

His sore bit’s healed – that’s such relief – his bottom is like new –

We’re one seat down: farewell our paddling Dane.

 

ANZAC Day in Knaresborough, North Yorkshire

We were talking with Knaresborough’s Town Crier (Roger Hewitt, who used to work with Peter G.) when a local man came up to suggest three things for inclusion in the Crier’s next proclamation.

First, he informed the TC that it was ANZAC Day.

Secondly, he said it was the anniversary of Oliver Cromwell’s birth – the person responsible for the destruction of Knaresborough castle (lying just a stone’s throw away from the Market Cross where we were standing).

Knaresborough castle

And third – this is way random – he said that it was also Monty Panesar’s 36th birthday!!

Much to his credit, and reading from the scroll removed with ceremony from his tipstaff, the Town Crier began his next proclamation with reference to ANZAC Day. Good on him – and the local man who was so aware.

 

 

Stalking George Gently

Two of my favourite English TV shows are Foyle’s War and George Gently. Both have seaside connections, the first with the Sussex Coast – all busy and pebbled – the second with the rather bleak, windswept and extensive sandy beaches of the North East of England.

In three years at university in Durham, the beaches of the North East remained completely unknown to me.

In more recent tv viewing George Gently has become conflated in my mind with the principled but unlikely Judge John Deed – both of them wonderfully portrayed by Martin Shaw.

I’ve always thought that Michael Kitchen does the best close up ‘face work’ on television: so nuanced and expressive, with minimalist twitches and other small facial movements. Foyle also has the best and nicest tv driver, played by Honeysuckle Weeks.

Honeysuckle Weeks as Sam and Michael KItchen as Foyle. Copyright: ITV

Imagine, then, my delight when Pella and I discovered that The Best Man, currently showing in the West End, stars both Mr Shaw and Ms Weeks. We hastened to the Playhouse to see them portraying a 1960 struggle for democratic Presidential candidature between ‘good’ and ‘evil’, both (no spoiler alert is required, I think) seeking support for their nomination from a previous President.

After the show we joined 5 others in stalking Martin Shaw, with a bare majority of the 7 being Australian. Ms Weeks made her way out of the gated basement before Mr Shaw, and I now believe that it must have been shyness caused by a frisson of a sort of admiration not felt for Mr Shaw, that explains why we (I) let her pass with no more than congratulations: no molestation for photograph or conversation.

Martin Shaw did not get off so lightly.

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Just Loving It (Our theatrical holiday in the UK)

Just Loving It (**** AO) (Coming soon to a Device near you)
Reviewed by Gordon Gregory.

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There is mounting evidence that the holiday in England shared by Pella and me was not real but a series of wonderfully-directed theatrical events to which we were given privileged access. To be with me, Pella had to take leave from a secret project identified at her work by three letters – let’s say JLI. We hired a car in the UK for a week; its number plate? JLI 300. If I’m not mistaken the probability of drawing those three letters randomly in that order is 1 in 17,576. That’s the kind of holiday it was!

But back to its theatrical nature. Several of the people we met were so vivid in personality, so lacking in ordinariness, as to seem like caricatures of certain types rather than real people. It has to be said that this includes a number to whom Pella is related. Others included the effusively-kind boarding house lady who spared no trouble in detailing in minute detail the precise nature and content of ‘the full English’ and of the workings of the shower taps and refrigerators in Pella’s room and mine. At one end of the breakfast room was a talking parrot – “Who’s a good boy, who’s a good boy?”; at the other, a concrete pool congested with goldfish as big as a prop forward’s leg. It was when we were seated at breakfast in these surrounds that the notion of being part of a piece of theatre emerged. Suddenly, between mouthfuls of pork sausage, the squawk of a seagull so loud and close to our table that it seemed to both of us more like an over the top sound effect than a real bird’s cry.

Our landlady was soon joined in dramatic personae by the crabby table waiter with attitude; the gossip in the village who – yes – knew the house we were looking for; the anxious driver fearful of not finding a parking spot and being forced to keep driving around a city’s centre for eternity; and of course the Knaresborough town crier – pure theatre in which Pella and I were able to play bit parts.

One of the most memorable theatric scenes was in the New Forest, established by William the Conquerer as a source of oak for building England’s navy and as a preferred locale for a King’s hunting. The Director of the Holiday presented us, their audience, with a scene so simple in its staging, so mundane in its content and so lacking in historicity as to be quite startling.

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The set for the New Forest Scene is pictured above. It attests to the Director’s breathtakingly modern approach to the subject, a profound reflection on how mundane and contemporary life in England can be. How bold is the idea of locating a small upright table and four plastic chairs in such an historic setting! (The one complaint one may be permitted is the unlikely inclusion in the set of a bird of prey, perhaps intended as a metaphor of the long history hanging over the place, but quite over the top surely?)

The overall effect of the scene’s set is electric in its intentional dissonance. What would King William have thought of his new forest being used as the site for a commoner father to play frisbee with his young son before repairing to the nearby plastic table and barbecue set?

In Act 3 Scene 4, Pella and I were exposed to a play within the play, in which two accomplished actors from the Badapple Theatre Company portrayed the struggles of Amy Johnson to overcome the challenges experienced by those of her gender who sought aviator’s adventures in the 1930s. Pella, who knows about such things, enjoyed the performances in the piece but was critical of the play’s structure, in which the narrative concerning Johnson’s life was experienced mainly through the words and actions of others. This meant that the play has little direct action and an almost total lack of observed conflict. “What was I supposed to learn?” Pella asked. “And why were there no points of tension to highlight and enliven it?”

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Act 4 Scene 1, in contrast, came with plenty of tension. It was set at first light in a cheap hotel with thin walls. It was one of those scenes designed by the Director to create discomfort and even embarrassment in the audience. Individual listeners sense that they are experiencing something so intimate that they wish they could be elsewhere, particularly if listening together with someone else, – as was our situation, since Pella and I were sharing a room. In this morning’s example of the genre the piece was more monologue than conversation, with the precise role played by the second (and perhaps third?) performers only to be guessed at. The lead performer maintained an emotive intensity with great effect, skilfully evoking a certainty among adult listeners that there really was no need to call the police. Again Pella and I felt just one criticism: that the Director persisted with the scene for a far longer time than would happen in real life, making it seem unlikely and excessive.

Overall, though, we have nothing but praise for the Director’s work and feel privileged to have been part of it.

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