Rolling over

Thinks: I’ve been on my right side for quite a while now; it may be time to roll over?

Push knees and feet down to move from foetal to straight position. Hope for no resultant cramp in calf or foot. Begin turning left knee towards the ceiling, followed by right knee. Slowly twist hips and backside. Position right elbow and forearm to take the weight of the trunk, push down hard, using the weight of the head to assist in reaching position in which one is lying on one’s back. Pause for breath. Re-position left knee and leg so that they may fold underneath during the next stage of the turn. Position right forearm and palm of right hand in such a way as to exert maximum force, readying right hand to reach out and pull on edge of mattress mid-way through the turn. Ready; steady: heave. Use weight of head to assist the manoeuvre. Pause for breath. Use right hand to check distance of trunk and legs from the side of the bed. If necessary, push back towards middle of bed to ensure there is little risk of falling put. Push down on the left forearm and hand and on right-hand to adopt semi-sitting position. Force backside a few inches towards the foot of the bed so that, when lying, one’s left shoulder is in the best position vis-a-vis the pillow. At the same time, adjust night shirt so that, when lying down again, it is not crinkled underneath the left side of one’s waist. Using right hand and forearm, allow the trunk to descend slowly from semi-sitting to lying position; test relationship of shoulder and pillow. If further adjustment is needed, repeat three previous manoeuvres. If satisfactory, pull or move left knee towards head, followed by right knee, to adopt foetal position. Adjust and re-adjust relative stance of left and right knees and feet to maximise immediate comfort. Sense precise angle of head and neck and adjust in order to minimise stiffness.

Close eyes. Smile inwardly. Hope for sleep.